Love and all of the acquainted Bullshit

My journey proves to be even more exhausting than I thought. I have recently had to turn down offers to perform that I would have normally jumped at. Not to mention that finals week starts on Monday and the professional teachers are really laying it on thick. I am so ready to graduate that I can feel the sensation of the ceremony in every second of my day. First, I must get through summer school and the agonizing months of the fall semester and then I will be free like Shelley's Sky Lark, only to find myself in Atlanta lost in the hallways of Clark.

The spirit of love is passing through me - the need for it, longing for it. Ultimately I miss it and wish that I had it on my fingertips like syrup for me to lick. I think that what is more overwhelming than anything is the fact that I know that every night I will be going home only to find me. Only to peek at everything that is me, and be encumbered by it. Where is he? How come he is not there when I open the door? Why isn't he asking me about my day and if this morning when I arose did I pray? Why isn't he rubbing my feet and scratching my head - so that the heaviness of my day could go away?

So now comes the bullshit...creeping, seeping, leaking through my atmosphere. Making it all foggy up in here, making the air thin and the notion of frustration live again. I thought that I was over it, thought that I had lived past it and was able to look back at it and smile at it. I thought wrong - I didn't realize that I was not completely over it, I was living in it and not past it and I couldn't even look back, let alone look back and smile at it. The incident was still all over my teeth like this afternoons lunch. My triumph, however, is that I was able to recognize it, see it standing there and pay it no attention. LIVE, GIRL, LIVE! To summarize it, I had let "him" come in and turn my world upside a damn wall - then like it was nothing to me, I let it and him go. Here I am back at square one, this time licking on a loli-pop.