Like Riding A Bike

I suppose that I should've been there. Like many times before, I wished that I hadn't been so willing or so eager to go there. Sometimes it feels like going home, a place that I have been gone away from for entirely too long. I miss the presence of it, the touch of it and dearly the sense of comfort that it allows me to feel. I unwillingly admit that I love it, but I am at the same time and space afraid of it. I don't think that I want to love it after it crushed me.

I ask questions openly and without hesitation...I refuse to assume anything. Assuming got my ass kicked. Assuming put me in a place that I wish not to return to - but then the same scenario remains. If I don't try it again - then I won't ever feel the feeling again. The innocence is gone and I leave nothing to spare - my guards are up and these walls are brick.

It scares me when I don't know a person's motives. When a person has glue in-between the top and bottom lip. I get anxious and tired trying to read a person's eyes all the time or trying to guess what it is that actions are trying to display. It is okay to check the situation right where it is, grab the situation in the collar and scream into it's face. I can take it - stronger than ever now - place all the grimy details out on floor. Stomp on them, make love on them, scream over them - but leave none of them untouched.

It is too comfortable to be left alone...I know that when I was there, it felt easy. It felt like I had never left it, like it was mine, it fit over me perfectly, it was as stimulating as spoken word poetry and it filled me with major pleasures although minor in time and space.

It was like riding a bike - I remembered how to push off, how to balance myself, peddling was easy, turning was easy and riding was the thrill of my lifetime.

I guess I miss being there - although I am unsure, I don't know because no one is speaking.

Ultimately I guess I have to get use to not riding that bike. It was my friend(I THINK I MISS THAT THE MOST)

Ahhhh The Joy!

I decided to the visit the Ice House last night. To see if I had missed anything, if any poet was talking about something new and explosive to the mind. I wanted to see if any poet would set the stage on fire and light up the walls. I wanted to see how hot the mic would get, if the room would steam up and if the paint that lined the walls would melt like ice cubes in the mid-day. I wanted to see if any poet would get excited and clap their hands together, stump their feet on the wooden stage, if any poet would have to step back from the mic in order to catch their breath. I wanted to see if any poet would with their voice stop the world from spinning on its axis and cause the clouds to sleep on the bottom of earth. I had to know if anyone would understand the damn poet just once, if anyone would care to walk with them there, if anyone would stand in honor of the pain, love, dignity, sorrow that the poet was spitting. I wanted to know if some spittle perhaps landed on someones insides and simply caused them to break!

The joy of us poets almost getting there....the joy!

Show In August

Grace and Peace

I feel impelled to inform you all of the upcoming show:

Poetry of the Soul Poetry Festival
Sammy Davis Plaza (Lorenzi Park)
Saturday, August 19, 2006 at 7:00pm

I hope to see you all there. I unfortunately have to host, but its whateva! Come out and see some of Vegas' own, spit fire on the mic.

Now, I am truly tired of breaking this down fo' y'all. Here is how the poetry schedule goes for da summer so far:

2nd and 4th Saturday of month - Untamed Tongues at Cafe De Tout
3rd Friday - Poet's corner at West Las Vegas Arts Center
2nd and 4th Wednesday of month - Poetry at the Ice House Lounge

If there is a change in the schedule I will let you all know.

Grace and Peace

Looked Back and Saw You

Grace and Peace

My eyes are full with tears, not those that I have cried for the last past year, but tears that do nothing more but thank. Oprah's Legend's Ball crept into crevices of my heart that I had not dared to return to since...

I know now, more than I have ever known before. I am!

On This Day

Grace and Peace to my sisters Denise McNair, Cynthia Wesley, Carole Robertson and Addie Mae Collins!

On this day in 2002 Bobby Frank Cherry was convicted of murder in the 1963 church bombing that killed the four girls listed above.

They are, along with Emmitt Till, sacrificial lambs of the Civil Rights Movement. They are forever beautiful, forever living and forever treasured.

Bobby Frank Cherry, a demolitions expert and his other three comrades - Robert Chambliss, Thomas Blanton and Herman Cash decided to uproot a thriving black church. How easily our anger consumes us and eventually turns our bodies and minds into fire! An uncontrollable rage that can eventually plague the land that surrounds us.

To my sisters be victims of Bombingham no more! To my beautiful sisters who are forever young, be forever free!

To my sisters now - carry freedom on your heads, above your eyebrows, in between your you know where's and you know how's. Carry your light with dignity and pride. Go on with your loud, big mouth! In the name of the four little girls, whose lives engulfed the world - On this day be victims no more!

Don't Touch Nobody!

Grace and Peace

This seems to be a day when my patience is at its minimum. The next person who says something to me that my heart doesn't agree with, might find themselves in dire straights. See, I am trying to play that grown woman role...but these people are making things 'round here hard for a sister!

This must be Fuck wit Bliss day! Well, I ain't feeling this Holiday. I have been trying to play it cool, but the top of my head is on fire and I am about to blow up. This job shit, is not the business. I felt like cursing everyone out and then walk my happy ass out the door and knock some shit down on my way. I kept it cool though, my moma taught me how to act in public. See, Moma told me to act my age and not my color.

But, I am begging these people not to take me there. Tonight when I go home to my resting place, I will be calm and lay my head. I will surround myself in candlelight, make a personal cup of Chai Tea, let my soul write for me, let miles play for me and a screening of The Color Purple might be in order.

I will forget the hardening, trying day and be at peace

That is all that matters, right?

Movin On Up!

Okay, just when I think that it was time for me to breathe, my Sustainer says no...Keep it pushin.

I have a strong notion that says, I will be on my break longer than I expected. I have not been to the Ice House or Untamed Tongues or any other poetry joint for that matter. But, somehow poetry follows me and uses me to its advantage.

I must first share my good news and ask that all pray for me in my future endeavors. I have been asked by one of my professional teachers to try to get my short story published. The story is called "Tearing Down" - my mother says that it reminds her of our family. I guess sometimes you write things unconsciously - not knowing that in fact you are writing about you. So, I will be submitting my story soon. Pray for me!

Ahhhhhh...It sure felt good. Like watermelon on a hot sunny day or when your childhood friend finally stops being grown and comes out to play. Poetry I miss you! He asked that I speak at his wife's 40th birthday party. I was going to say no, but instead I said yes. My friend and I went there and we found ourselves surrounded by beautiful people in a beautiful place. Have you ever met people that were more into hugs than they were into handshaking. Immediately one feels like family...It was warm like that. We laughed, danced, sang, ate, and of course I had to poetry! (bad grammar,I know). I can honestly say, that it was the first time that I have performed and knew for sure that I would be getting paid. I had won the competition at the Ice House and was blessed with $500. I had performed with Kato at the Vocal Xpressions venue and was blessed with $100 and now as I was invited to perform at a birthday party I was blessed with $50. Thank you God, keep the blessings coming.