Thursday, August 07, 2008

Almost


I had almost forgot. Almost let my guards completely down. I was ready to rest, to believe and to trust myself within someone else's arms. What a fool I am! I was ready to part with my INDEPENDENT WOMAN ways and let him do what he said he would do. Truth is, I guess, I am too comfortable. Or, I was too comfortable. I now know that the time has not yet come for me to let go and truly put myself within someone else's arms. As much as I want to. I simply can not.


Today was my last at work. Well not official, but the last day is soon approaching. The only promise I have is a part time job that doesn't offer the benefits I need for my baby girl. I was okay with the fact that it may take longer than I had anticipated to find a good job worth working. Now, I am afraid. There are so many things that I want and so many things that I can't have.


My gut says that GOD will bless me and I will be able to do more than I ever dreamed. I believe GOD and all that he says. In HIM is where my faith lies. Soon I won't have to worry about the prices of pillows for my couch or the price of a nice pair of shoes for me. If I see a blouse or vase that I just love, I won't have to pass it up. And those pictures for my walls, I will have with ease. Oh, and a bed for my baby (how joyful), that would just make my heart smile if her mommy could go out and say I want the most beautiful bed for my baby. A bed that is almost as beautiful as she is. One day, GOD will bless.


One day, with all things considered, I will be happy.


For now, the plan is to get in position so that I will be ready for the blessing.

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