Honesty is Key

It was like she was trying to keep a secret from me. You know... Changing her plurals to singles and chopping at her vocabulary. She doesn't know that I know. She couldn't possibly think that I am that dumb or that naive. The news this time, didn't carry as much weight as it would have with me. I was okay this time. I took the news in stride and continued on my path.

Sometimes I dare to look back. Sometimes I may even let myself go back to that place. I think that mostly I am checking up on it, making sure that all is well with it. After I do that then I can keep it moving. Nowadays, my stops are minor and few. I think that I am okay for now with where I am at. It gives me more time to concentrate on me and the things that I deem important to my survival. There isn't much that I need and I can work with what I have thus far.

I think that what is even more exciting for me is that discovery is lurking in the corners of my very being. I have begun to study what is important to me in this world of material wealth. I have taken pride in who I am and what I am. What if, just what if I am somebody? I think that I can bring that message across without being overly-confident. People dwelling in my realm for some reason think that as soon as someone starts to believe that are somebody in this world, then that makes them conceited.

I often think that if these shallow people had a grip on their own shit then they wouldn't have so much to say about whats going on with mine. Really I am basically getting tired of trying to prove to people why I love me so much. Why I feel like this isn't it for me. I personally feel that people should support when needed to and allow themselves to be supported when needed to. Jealousy is the root to evil, it warrants hate and encourages ill treatment.

I dislike the thought that I can't call my friend and share an accomplishment with them. It actually saddens me to even think about it. I couldn't believe the kind of treatment that I received when it did happen. I tend to drift off onto edgy conversation...I was saying that in the corners of my being I see things in a different perspective.

My heart aches and wonders for things that didn't even use to warrant my heart's attention. Now, more than ever, I find myself thinking about things that are not indifferent in our world. In fact these things are so prevalent that most of the time we don't even pay them any attention. Little ones are sleeping through gun shots outside their windows at night. Young men are being killed, more women and children are being abused and homelessness is the first institution on the top of poverty's list. Tell me, how can there be levels or classes for the poor. Is there a institution of rich or too rich, no. But on poverty's end, the levels are stacking up.

Poverty - Hood/Ghettos, trailer parks, homelessness, welfare/section 8 housing, gassed neighborhoods.

How does one fair in a poverty stricken neighborhood? Who was the mastermind behind this set up. Now, that this system that was set in place to destroy is doing exactly what they wanted it to and more it has become a problem. The problem is with the "more". They aren't just killing themselves off...they are starting to kill them too. Oh-honesty hurts.

Plans planned in evil have a tendency to backfire!