Song of Solomon

SHALIMONE

By the time I was introduced to who Solomon was, I was overcome by the beautiful language in which the story offered. Morrison writes with such eloquence and beauty. Song of Solomon was the third book that I have read by Morrison. Usually I get so tied up in the confusion that she offers in her writings, this time I was waiting to be confused, waiting to be mis-led, waiting for this character to pop up out of nowhere and mean everything. He/she was not there; the book was full of passion, sacrifice, love, hatred, self confusion, knowledge of self and everything possible. I loved the book for its discovery of family and of life, Morrison took me on a journey through generations of past life. It seems almost as if one of us today could discover that hidden secret and unwrap a line of history as rich as Milkmans.

I want to know Morrison's secret, sure she knows something about this story that no one else knows. The characters used to be her friends, they spoke to her long enough for her to tell their story. They chose to come alive through the mind of Morrison. I wonder what else she knows about them. About Pilate, Macon, Milkman, Guitar, First Corithians, Magdalene, Sweet, Song, Ruth, Hagar and all of the characters that chose Morrison. Out of all of the writers in the world, they chose her. I guess they knew that she would tell it just like it was. She wouldn't add too much or take away any. She would feed it to us straight, no quarrels or quams.

I put the book down, feeling free. Free to discover, uncover, grow...fly. Morrison tells the world about black people, about their culture, their lifestyle, the way they think. She does all of this without making them seem inhuman...We are indeed much like everyone else. The story flows easy. The story means something, the story is the last breathe before one decides to give up.

This life thing surpasses beauty!

Heavy?

" How come it can't fly no better than a chicken?"
"Too much tail. All that jewelry weighs it down. Like vanity. Can't nobody fly with all that shit. Wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down."

Thank you Ms. Morrison - you know, for the words. As disturbing as they are - they are at the same time, in the same place and as the same moment powerful.

I picked "Song of Solomon" for my first Summer read. I wish that the second book I pick is as powerful, if not even more. A book that has surely evoked some type of whimsical thinking in my heart and mind. When I complete all the words that are listed in the 15 chapter book, I will blog about it again. For now, I will try to rid myself of all of the heavy shit that weighs me down.

Grace and Peace

Father's Day

It has been over ten years since he left this place. Left this place for something better, something new, something everlasting. I miss him truly and I believe that I will forever. Throughout the years of course time has eased the pain and the tension, but there are still some days when I can't help but welcome him into my heart. There are times when I refuse him, refuse to let him into my space or refuse to believe that he wants me to know that he is there.

Yesterday, however, he would not be refused. He barged his way into my heart and got comfortable in his regular place and slept there for awhile, threw a fit, hugged the inside places and then, without me knowing, took his leave and promised that he would be back.

I never know when or how often he chooses to visit me, as I have no say so in the matter. But the loss of him makes me think about what I gained after him and after I lost that it makes me think about what I gained after that. This life I lead is all a revolving circle, pulsating to the beat of my very own heart. A day with mixed feelings, it was. A heavy day, most times I try to contain the heavy - place it in a box - just so I know where it is and so it doesn't escape my grasp. Enslave the heavy so that it has no time to breathe, not a moment to live - but as my sister says sometimes shit just gets heavy. So yesterday I let the heavy live in my day and breathe all of its miseries and beauties out on me.

A day of clarity, it was. I had originally thought that something had gone terribly wrong with my emotions - I couldn't/wouldn't cry. Not even when I was overwhelmed by the feeling of catharsis. I remember being at church and made myself suppress the tears that dared to come forth. I thought that I had finally allowed my heart to grow cold and had become stiff as a board. When the tears dropped and the head began to swim and emotions began to flow like free water after a drought. I was reassured that I was alive and well, dwelling in the land of the living.

I think I will love for the rest of my life, give myself, present my words as gifts, share my dreams and foster the mis-guided. No need in me swimming in the dark, because if I knew that then I would have no clue as to where the deep end begins.

I must tell you all not to worry about me. This girl, will be fine. She will be! Simply BE!

See what happens to me on Father's Day. Now I have to try to fix a situation that I may have disassembled and don't have the instructions to put back together.

Thank You

Man, freedom/releasing feels good. I felt liberated. I felt like a teenager sneaking out the house to go and see a boyfriend that my father disapproved of. I had been on a 3 month vacation, I mean I could have I just didn't because it didn't feel right. I won't say that I needed to exahle, because that sounds too corny. I will say that needed to breathe - to let out some anxieties.

He called, I barley dressed and was out the door before any one could say two-holes in the floor!

I Remember My Love

(Ride With Me) - and I did and I would forever if I could. He was waiting for me outside of my house. How nice it felt for someone to come by and pick me up. How often had I been leery of men knowing where I lived or had been asked to meet them somewhere. He already knew where I would be - He had the address imprinted on his mind, knew how the street curved, knew what the yard looked like, knew what it smelled like outside, knew how the wind blew - he knew how to find me. (Ride With Me) - and I did and I would forever of I could.

My Close Love

He had me at "Hi". He held me close to him under his arm - where I felt my safest. I was close enough to hear his heartbeat, close enough to understand his mis-understandings, close enough to know that he has had a sad day, close enough to know his goals, close enough to know his most intimate feelings. He wanted to talk and I in return wanted to be talked to. He had me at "Hi".

I Miss My Love

"Home" felt good. Together we fused into one - one sculpture carved from the essence of true love. It felt like divinity and I knew that after it was gone I would miss it. This time, however, I felt liberation songs flow through my bones. At that time I was not scared of him, I did not fear what was to come and I did not regret any choice that I had made. It was there for me, put there for the taking. I needed him and he needed I - I think we always will. When he isn't there I look for him, a small hint of him in the bushes or hidden in the crevices. Once I get over my fear of him, I will be fine. Because "Home" feels good.

As for the night and all that it contained - Thank you, My Love, Thank you!

A Healing in The House

Grace and Peace

My prayer was that God reveal himself to her. That she continue to trust and believe that trouble don't last always and that somewhere in the mist of her storm, a cooling would arise and blessings would pour.

On this Sunday she accompanied me to church (Zion Cathedral). I knew that she would need to be administered to by someone who didn't believe that he was too holy to be human. On Sunday she had her breakthrough. The healing may begin.

Thank you Pastor Youngblood
Thank you God!

Grace and Peace

Da Future of Poetry

The crowd slowly filled the joint. Cafe De Tout was the perfect place with the perfect atmosphere. I watched the poets bless the mic and I even had a go at it myself. I was trying to decide which poet would be welcomed to the $10 dollars that I had in my purse. I had made up in my mind that I would just run to the bank if I had the urge to buy more than one CD.

I was sitting patiently waiting for the next poet to grab the mic and claim it as their own. I was sitting close to the stage, I had to arch my back and look up in order to see the poet. The host, Husbandman, introduced the last Headliner for the night and in a humble manner the Future of poetry emerged.

Beautiful locs twisted back into a ponytail, creamy rich chocolate skin and down to earth as he could ever be. He was cool...He begin to speak and my mind was made up. I wanted to understand the Future of Poetry...What it meant to live in his skin. That was my CD for the night.

I could barely wait to get home so that I could give all of my attention to him. Instead he demanded it and with no hesitation I gave it to him. A connected brother is he, connected to earth, God and society. I have to give respect where respect is due, a strong believer in the sustainer above, I respect that too. Who knew that this young cat born in 79 could bore knowledge and wisdom at his trying age.

Future I compliment you, with my head bowed.

Your heavenly father does believe that Jr. you are all right.

Grace and Peace

Bliss

What Happens In The Presence of Ignorance

Grace and Peace

I think...That the world may have stopped revolving on its axis for maybe one second. Maybe after I blinked or maybe after I took too long to think. My muscles tightened, my bottom lip bled and for the thousandth time in my life I was happy that I wasn't there.

Then the news came about him. I hadn't seen him in years... Since we had summer school together and he would fall asleep and chastise the teacher for waking him. He was funny and cool and humble - he was he.

My heart broke when the news came. The news came in the form of a phone call asking me if I had heard about it all. If I had heard about how a group of men had brought hell with them in the form of iron that held sweltering hot pellets that could pierce the body and leave it lifeless. I answered yes, I had heard about the senseless act and how the peace rally ended in death. I had heard about how there were jump houses on every street corner and even now I can hear how loudly the people were laughing. I almost died when the news came, about him.

In the presence of ignorance lay the seeds to our future. Every child no matter what age, is five years older, degrees bolder and has to deal with psychological damage that comes along with ignorance. In the presence of ignorance mothers and fathers, now has to buy one more playstation so that they can keep their children inside. In the presence of ignorance I see me, raising my clenched fist and striking knowledge into the domes of these young men. I see ignorance and replace it with self awareness, black pride and the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

RIP - SG (May 29, 2006)

Grace and Peace